Things I learned at the ER
Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 7:43 pm
![Very Happy :D](/forum/images/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif)
By trial of pain and suffering, we earn the right to utter our righteous tales of “So there I was…” Here are a few tips I gleaned as I wallowed through the middle-ground of purgatory called the ER and during my hospital stay:
1. Congratulations! The worst has already happened. You crashed, but didn’t die. If you had simply been hustled off-stage by Joe Black, you wouldn’t have to deal with all the pain that is coming due on your account. Smile. It can only get better…after you wait 13 hours in the ER.
2. Trust the wisdom of Triage…the healthy looking guy going in before you is truly worse off.
Your arm is snapped in half like a twig. The neck collar is stabilizing your spine because your head helped to break the impact of your fall. It’s probably not all that bad, so when they call “David Turner” four or five times, twenty minutes after you signed in, don’t get overly concerned when his friend explains that he is “outside taking a smoke break.” Trust the system…the guy’s all busted up.
3. The 45 minute wait to get checked-in is simply your opportunity to steel yourself for the 13 hour wait. Learn to laugh at your pain. Everyone else is.
4. The purpose of the waiting room is to make your ass so sore that it takes your mind off of the pain from the broken bones that keep rubbing together. The morphine is for your ass.
5. After a couple of days in the hospital, you will be plenty ripe. Nonetheless, keep putting off grandma Moses. Candy-striper-hotties with sponges are one of life’s small rewards.
6. Never fly the day before you leave for that long-awaited, week-long family vacation. You are simply tempting the gods. Place at least a week between your crash and your vacation.
7. Stay on your flight path and get on that high wing!!!!!
8. Your belief that something is wrong with you and all of your friends is fully confirmed when you find yourself figuring up how long this bump in the road will keep you out of the air.
9. Life doesn’t really flash before your eyes…just that sickening thought that “this is gonna hurt real bad.”
10. We choose these risks and make them our way of life. You can’t soar if you don’t step out of the nest. Sometimes, we graze a wing.
Looking forward to stepping out of the nest again, albeit, with better results. Happy soaring.